A few steps back

So remember when Miller was born and his first two weeks of life how he never needed any extra oxygen? Well that all changed yesterday. Last night around 8 o'clock I was just sitting on the couch pumping when the hospital calls. Now every time they call I just about lose all my nerves. It just really freaks me out. They were calling to let me know that his oxygen levels kept dropping and that they had to give him some support. Just when I thought we were getting so close. I think that's the hardest part. I had just anticipated him coming home soon. Anyways I was able to keep my cool while I was talking to the nurse but I lost it as soon as I hung up. And I still haven't really gotten it together. Brady just keeps saying everything will be fine and that at least it happened while he was in the hospital which is true but I just can't get it together. It's just so hard because when I nurse him and hold him his levels stay steady and right around 100%. So I just want to stay there all the time. I'm just not sure what the right thing is to do. I worry about him every second I'm not with him. Yesterday I watched as three babies got discharged. I cannot help but be extremely jealous. And I hate that. I just envy the fact that they get to take their babies home. So it may not sound like I'm being patient but I'm trying.

I was just trying to get a picture that showed all the new stuff he has going on.